Actual phone message left on my sister Kirstin's voice mail after she had not heard from mom in a couple of weeks....
"Hi this your mother, umm I had gall bladder surgery and I made it. I didn't croak so I am home recovering. Bye"
She later called me to inform me she wasn't dead. I chewed her out for not telling me BEFORE she went in for surgery. She said there was no point in making me worry and asked why I would want to know anyway. My reply?
"Well, if you end up dead, I need to know the name of the hospital to sue. I'm sure as hell not going to inherit any money from you so I have to cash in somehow!"
(I learned from the best :D)